Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Have a Hater!

Anonymous said...

Hello [full name deleted by blog author],

Polly Syllabick IS [full name deleted by blog author]. [Full name deleted by blog author] (her real name) and Polly are all the SAME person.

I know you,[full name deleted by blog author]. I know you really well. You can be very vindictive, however, if you did see that doctor, he was right: you do have herpes--herpes in the brain. Now cut this out, and don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. You don't want moles on your nose too, do you? And I, too, like you, am going to tell everyone in NYC to follow suit and expose your lies, BIG TIME.
Bye for now.....


THAT was anonymously posted to me a few days ago.


Damn, that's some angry shit! Going forth into the city to destroy someone is pretty epic (though kind of a waste of time when you're trying to "expose" a nobody, yes?).

Is this a good thing? Haters are a good thing, right? I think Kat Williams said haters are a good thing.

To the hater: I don't know why NYC would be interested in the blog of a random writer-chick who now lives in the city after a break-up. Or what kind of earth-shattering lies lay in this blog (maybe we didn't break the world record for air guitar? But why would the Guinness guy lie to us? DAMN YOU, GUINNESS!). However, I'm kind of excited to hear about them, so please post them all over this blog. (This is so exciting! Secrets and lies! Sexy! It's like Desperate Housewives!)

All 4 1/2 people who read this blog, including my grandma, will be riveted, I'm sure. Considering I'm a bottom-feeding nobody though, I doubt many people will take notice. Sorry 'bout that. I'll work on getting famous so your expose is more effective.

And so, for the record, since the very brave "ANONYMOUS" has put it out there, Polly Syllabick is NOT the name on my birth certificate...I know this is shocking. Take a moment to process....

...Earth-shattering, right?

Another LIE exposed: Alex's name.......isn't Alex. **BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUM!**

AHHH The bad news is that by reading this blog, you too may have contracted "herpes of the brain." You will likely perish before reaching the end of this post.

So, with that out of the way, we now continue with your regularly scheduled, apparently "vindictive" Hitch List programming.

(But I'm deleting the 4 other comments by the same poster under THREE other false names, cuz they're just a lil' redundant, doncha think? "You're a liar, I'll destroy you, your name is _________, blah blah blah." Keep it short, Anonymous, blog readers like that better ;-) )


ND said...

Congratulations on getting the hater! I had a blog hater once, but he just defriended me -- never tried to expose my horrible lies. Like the fact that my name isn't really ND! I think this means you've hit the big time.

Polly Syllabick said...

WHAT??!?!? Your name isn't ND?


Oh man, nutjobs on the internet.

mmacc said...

"Don't make a mountain out of mole hills...I'm going to tell everyone in expose your lies!"

There is something awesome* about people who practice "do as I say, not as I do". I think you should enjoy your blog hater; you know you've made it when someone is trying to knock you down. :D

*I mean awesome in the let's-mock-the-dumb people awesome. I get a lot of personal amusement from people like your ex-friend

- Martina